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Not Weakness: Navigating the Culture of Chronic Pain
After thyroid cancer, Crohn’s disease, and a slew of other autoimmune conditions ransacked her body in her twenties and thirties, Francesca was left feeling completely alone in her chronic pain. Constant, relentless, often indescribable, and always exhausting, it affected her whole life―intimacy, motherhood, friendship, work, and mental health. Yet it was also fairly invisible―and because of that, Francesca felt entirely alone in the centrifuge of her own pain. But after twenty-plus years of living this way, isolated and depressed, she started to wonder: if she lived in pain, others must too―so why couldn’t she name one person in her community who suffered like she did?
On a whim, Francesca started asking women in her community if they had chronic pain―only to find that she was surrounded by women also battling in silence. The more she spoke to people, the more she found common themes and experiences, proving that her stories of pain were not unique, and neither were her feelings of loneliness and seclusion. Liberated by this discovery, Francesca realized something: while she couldn’t alleviate anyone’s pain, maybe she could lift the shadows surrounding it―bring these common stories into the light, with the goal of helping her fellow chronic pain sufferers feel a little less alone.
Imbued with a deep respect for the women who tell their stories in its pages, as well as a healthy skepticism of the healthcare world and how it can silence, shame, and ignore women in pain, Not Weakness is galvanizing memoir about living and loving with chronic pain.
On a whim, Francesca started asking women in her community if they had chronic pain―only to find that she was surrounded by women also battling in silence. The more she spoke to people, the more she found common themes and experiences, proving that her stories of pain were not unique, and neither were her feelings of loneliness and seclusion. Liberated by this discovery, Francesca realized something: while she couldn’t alleviate anyone’s pain, maybe she could lift the shadows surrounding it―bring these common stories into the light, with the goal of helping her fellow chronic pain sufferers feel a little less alone.
Imbued with a deep respect for the women who tell their stories in its pages, as well as a healthy skepticism of the healthcare world and how it can silence, shame, and ignore women in pain, Not Weakness is galvanizing memoir about living and loving with chronic pain.
- GenresNonfictionHealthMemoir
192 pages, Paperback
Published April 18, 2023
About the author
Francesca Grossman
3 books14 followersFrancesca Louise Grossman is a writer and writing instructor. Her work has been published in The New York Times, Brain, Child Magazine, The Manifest Station, Ed Week, Drunken Boat, and Word Riot, among others. She runs writing retreats and workshops internationally and leads an annual intensive workshop at The Harvard Graduate School of Education. She has a BA and MA from Stanford University and a doctorate from Harvard University in education. Her acclaimed book “Writing Workshop: How to Create a Culture of Useful Feedback” is used in universities and workshops all over the world. Francesca lives in Newton, MA, with her husband and two children.
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
May 5, 2023
I received an advance copy of this book. As a complex pain, rare disease patient with a slew of health conditions, I found it so relatable and validating.
The medical bias in health care that leads to women being gaslit about their own bodies, shamed, minimized and dismissed is the unspoken epidemic of our time. This book will speak to any women who has struggled to be seen, heard and most importantly, BELIEVED by their healthcare providers when seeking care.
I read this book with a highlighter because so many of the passages hit home. Over and over, as I was reading, I thought “Me too!”
Definitely important work and a must read, not just for patients, but also health care professionals.
The medical bias in health care that leads to women being gaslit about their own bodies, shamed, minimized and dismissed is the unspoken epidemic of our time. This book will speak to any women who has struggled to be seen, heard and most importantly, BELIEVED by their healthcare providers when seeking care.
I read this book with a highlighter because so many of the passages hit home. Over and over, as I was reading, I thought “Me too!”
Definitely important work and a must read, not just for patients, but also health care professionals.
June 19, 2023
This is a good overview of the way chronic pain impacts women's lives in many domains and contains the personal stories of multiple women. Some of the data here is pretty depressing (the impact of a mother's chronic illness on her children's mental and physical health, the propensity of medical professionals to dismiss women's pain and misdiagnose conditions based on weight, the shame and guilt and anger associated with chronic illness), but there is also a reminder of how kind people can be and the joy that is still available even in a life filled with pain.
April 12, 2023
Not Weakness: Navigating the Culture of Chronic Pain by Francesca Grossman is a solid addition to the health feminism literary canon that digs into experiences of chronic illness and chronic pain, and dismissal, bias, and neglect in healthcare. Grossman tells her own story as well as excerpts from 21 women she interviewed who experience chronic pain, elucidating on several topics of pain, the difficulties of living with it, the indignities of healthcare, and more.
In this book, Grossman follows her own questions and curiosity down rabbit holes—from the opioid crisis and pain medication to fatphobia in the healthcare space. The stories of dismissal, misdiagnosis, and straight-up medical neglect are painful as always. Grossman does an incredible job of showing the truth of living with chronic pain, from the difficulty of translating it for the people around you, to the doctors who don't think you're qualified to know your own medical history or diagnoses, to the doctors who see anxiety or a certain BMI and fail to look any further.
Occasionally, Grossman's research can feel shallow, and the structure of her chapters can start to turn in on themselves, leaving the reader slightly lost. One example of this was her chapter on how the fear of opioid abuse and addiction has hurt people with chronic pain who are using drugs responsibly and are dependent without being addicted. This is a good question to explore and a necessary issue—I've seen firsthand how painful it is when you need a drug that is often abused—but by setting up a couple false binaries, Grossman lost me in some of the edges of her otherwise compelling arguments. A couple of the chapters were set up in this way, and knowing some of the research myself, I know Grossman could have dug deeper in a couple of places. Grossman acknowledges her small sample but still generalizes often in places where she could have instead dug deeper into other research.
Overall, this is a great addition to my list of books about chronic illness and pain. Grossman is honest, bold, and curious in her quest to understand chronic pain and why she and other sufferers have to deal with it this way. The most powerful point she makes in the book are about being open and honest with ourselves and our pain—not giving into it, but accepting it, rather than being engaged in constant battle or refusal to admit me suffer from chronic pain.
Content warnings for medical neglect and trauma, fatphobia, ableism, suicidal ideation.
In this book, Grossman follows her own questions and curiosity down rabbit holes—from the opioid crisis and pain medication to fatphobia in the healthcare space. The stories of dismissal, misdiagnosis, and straight-up medical neglect are painful as always. Grossman does an incredible job of showing the truth of living with chronic pain, from the difficulty of translating it for the people around you, to the doctors who don't think you're qualified to know your own medical history or diagnoses, to the doctors who see anxiety or a certain BMI and fail to look any further.
Occasionally, Grossman's research can feel shallow, and the structure of her chapters can start to turn in on themselves, leaving the reader slightly lost. One example of this was her chapter on how the fear of opioid abuse and addiction has hurt people with chronic pain who are using drugs responsibly and are dependent without being addicted. This is a good question to explore and a necessary issue—I've seen firsthand how painful it is when you need a drug that is often abused—but by setting up a couple false binaries, Grossman lost me in some of the edges of her otherwise compelling arguments. A couple of the chapters were set up in this way, and knowing some of the research myself, I know Grossman could have dug deeper in a couple of places. Grossman acknowledges her small sample but still generalizes often in places where she could have instead dug deeper into other research.
Overall, this is a great addition to my list of books about chronic illness and pain. Grossman is honest, bold, and curious in her quest to understand chronic pain and why she and other sufferers have to deal with it this way. The most powerful point she makes in the book are about being open and honest with ourselves and our pain—not giving into it, but accepting it, rather than being engaged in constant battle or refusal to admit me suffer from chronic pain.
Content warnings for medical neglect and trauma, fatphobia, ableism, suicidal ideation.
April 19, 2023
Full disclosure: I was given a free advance reader copy of this book by Books Forward in exchange for an honest review.
As with many of the books that I’ve reviewed on this website, I’ve come across ones that discuss certain walks of life. For this week, I’ll look at a book called "Not Weakness: Navigating the Culture of Chronic Pain." Written by Francesca Grossman, it paints a realistic, but hopeful picture of what it is like to have constant pain.
To read more of this review, click on this link: https://chick-who-reads-everything.co...
As with many of the books that I’ve reviewed on this website, I’ve come across ones that discuss certain walks of life. For this week, I’ll look at a book called "Not Weakness: Navigating the Culture of Chronic Pain." Written by Francesca Grossman, it paints a realistic, but hopeful picture of what it is like to have constant pain.
To read more of this review, click on this link: https://chick-who-reads-everything.co...
February 28, 2023
This vulnerable memoir explores the stories of diverse women that suffer from chronic pain. I loved reading the stories of numerous women as they share their experiences and how they cope with chronic pain. This is such an easy, yet insightful read - everyone who enjoys memoirs must add this to their TBR!
July 14, 2023
I read this based on Cheryl Strayed's recommendation: https://cherylstrayed.substack.com/p/....
I feel extremely lucky to have experienced as much good health as I have.
I feel extremely lucky to have experienced as much good health as I have.
September 6, 2023
Francesca’s own battle with thyroid cancer and autoimmune conditions left her feeling lonely as she battled daily chronic pain.
It was when she started asking other women that she realized she was not alone. Many other women she knew were also battling similar things.
While the illnesses differed, the pain and suffering were shared experiences that led to mutual feelings of loneliness and isolation. By discussing their experiences, these women realized they were not alone after all, that chances are there were others just like them battling too.
As someone who has had battled chronic pain in one form or another for over 25 years, this books spoke to me in so many ways. I realized that not only were my experiences not unusual, the path to treatment and also finding others who understood was an experience shared by so many people.
This book is a great reminder that while our conditions may be lifelong, and while many of us battle conditions without it a cure, we are in fact not alone. By telling our stories, we can show others they are not alone too and their suffering can be shared.
I am so glad Francesca wrote this book. If you suffer from chronic pain or know someone who does, I highly recommend reading this. It just might help you feel that much less alone in your battle.
Thank you to Books Forward PR for this book. I am so glad I was given the chance to read it. All views are my honest opinion.
It was when she started asking other women that she realized she was not alone. Many other women she knew were also battling similar things.
While the illnesses differed, the pain and suffering were shared experiences that led to mutual feelings of loneliness and isolation. By discussing their experiences, these women realized they were not alone after all, that chances are there were others just like them battling too.
As someone who has had battled chronic pain in one form or another for over 25 years, this books spoke to me in so many ways. I realized that not only were my experiences not unusual, the path to treatment and also finding others who understood was an experience shared by so many people.
This book is a great reminder that while our conditions may be lifelong, and while many of us battle conditions without it a cure, we are in fact not alone. By telling our stories, we can show others they are not alone too and their suffering can be shared.
I am so glad Francesca wrote this book. If you suffer from chronic pain or know someone who does, I highly recommend reading this. It just might help you feel that much less alone in your battle.
Thank you to Books Forward PR for this book. I am so glad I was given the chance to read it. All views are my honest opinion.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews